Wow, been awhile since the last blog. I've had 10 days off of work, and it's been wonderful to see family, friends, and rest. It's nice to just stop and enjoy life, and it's so important to my spirit. I need time to stop, think, breathe, experience new places and people.
My prayers were answered last week! I had an interview on the solid tumor oncology unit, and it went wonderfully. The nurse manager and I got along beautifully, the unit felt right, it was calm, peaceful, filled with nurses who love coming to work everyday. I was offered the job and immediately accepted, no questions asked. I have never been more excited! Tomorrow I return from my break to the med/surg unit and will tell my current manager that I'm transfering, then I'll be up on the oncology floor hopefully by the end of October!
I will miss the nurses I work with, but I am so ready to move on, to learn more, to grow, and have new experiences with new people. I know that I will love it. Already I love it, my heart and head are already there. Cancer is probably the most devastating disease to have, the treatments are worse, and there are so many different types to be afraid of. You can be carrying out your life one day, then the next you're diagnosed with cancer, and don't know what the future holds. I cannot wait to be the person there for the family and patient who are having a difficult time, that is what I live for. I want to be their comfort, ears, knowledge, confidence.
The nurses are all very involved in fundraisers, walks, rides for cancer research funds, and I am looking forward to becoming involved in making a bigger difference. They do pet therapy twice a week with a golden retriever and a little beagle, which is amazing. I have decided to enroll my lab in a program to get him certified to become a pet therapy dog, he would be wonderful, and bring such joy to people in one of their darkest and most difficult times.
Getting this job has strengthened my belief that anything is achievable if we are patient, work as hard as we can to make our dreams come true, and ask for help along the way. This past weekend my fiance and I did a 76 mile charity bike ride benefitting Easter Seals of NC, a group who assists people with CP. It was an event and experience I will never forget, and I will always cherist. One of my favorite quotes from the weekend was this said by Christopher Reeve, "So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable." IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Life is beautiful
Oddly enough, the day that I wrote the previous post, one of our long time patients on the unit had passed away, and another one of my patients crashed. I couldn't help but think I had sensed it, felt it coming. I hadn't felt right all day. I wasn't necessarily in a bad mood, just down, and very tired. Not just tired, drained. Hind sight is 20/20, but this seemed more than coincidence.
I knew one of our patients we had cared for for over a month on our floor was in the ICU for liver failure. He had his transplant a couple years back, but the new liver was being rejected by his own body. While on our unit the doctors tried several procedures to save the liver, but nothing took. We all knew the day would come when we would have to call a "rapid response" and get him moved to the ICU. I knew he had been in the ICU for about a week or so, and I could not stop thinking about him the night before work. I thought about how much he and his wife loved one another. They were both in their 50's with two grown children. I would often hear them from the other side of the unit laughing and giving each other grief when they lost a card game. I was moved by their love for one another. His wife was there everyday, we had to beg her to leave and get some rest. She was in it for better or worse.
I came to work Thursday planning to buy him and his wife a card to have the nurses sign to know we were praying for them, and admired their love for each other. I asked our secretary to see which room he was in in the ICU next door so I could go visit him. When his name came up on the screen, a number "3" was next to it. He had passed away on Wednesday afternoon. I was heartbroken for his family, namely his wife who had seen him cured of alcoholism, get a liver transplant, and then saw him through the liver failure. I felt helpless because I knew I couldn't do anything to help her through her grief. Sometimes all we have is prayer.
I knew one of our patients we had cared for for over a month on our floor was in the ICU for liver failure. He had his transplant a couple years back, but the new liver was being rejected by his own body. While on our unit the doctors tried several procedures to save the liver, but nothing took. We all knew the day would come when we would have to call a "rapid response" and get him moved to the ICU. I knew he had been in the ICU for about a week or so, and I could not stop thinking about him the night before work. I thought about how much he and his wife loved one another. They were both in their 50's with two grown children. I would often hear them from the other side of the unit laughing and giving each other grief when they lost a card game. I was moved by their love for one another. His wife was there everyday, we had to beg her to leave and get some rest. She was in it for better or worse.
I came to work Thursday planning to buy him and his wife a card to have the nurses sign to know we were praying for them, and admired their love for each other. I asked our secretary to see which room he was in in the ICU next door so I could go visit him. When his name came up on the screen, a number "3" was next to it. He had passed away on Wednesday afternoon. I was heartbroken for his family, namely his wife who had seen him cured of alcoholism, get a liver transplant, and then saw him through the liver failure. I felt helpless because I knew I couldn't do anything to help her through her grief. Sometimes all we have is prayer.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
For Better or For Worse
As my wedding date approaches, and as I have new experiences at the hospital, I can't help but think more and more about what being married really means. None of the superficial, all that we spend months planning, matters after the wedding. What matters are the promises, the vows, the oaths, that you will love this one person, care for this one person, and stand beside and behind this person for the rest of your lives, however long or short that may be.
Nothing about life is certain. I see this everytime I come to work. You graduate college, get a job, get married, and expect it all to go as planned. The truth is, life is extremely fragile. Life is not something to be played with, not something to be wasted. You get one body, one soul, one life, and one chance to make it count.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Inspired
This is my third night shift this week, and may I remind you that I don't usually work these. I am, by trade, a day shift RN, but decided to help out my fellow nurses. It really is a whole different world. The care is the same, the acuity doesn't change, but fewer people are around to crowd the halls.
I am fortunate enough to work somewhere where each person helps the next. You will never here "That's not MY patient!" Each person on the unit is everyone's responsibility, and we treat it as such. There is no time to decide whether or not to help, we just do it, and I would like to think that is due to our compassion, not just our instinct.
Being night shift, I had some free time to finish my most recent book "A Big Little Life; A Memoir of a Joyful Dog" written by Dean Koontz. On the last page of the book, in the last chapter, there is a statement that sent shivers down my spine. I find it to be true, and wanted to share it. Don't over analyze it, just think about it a few seconds, and realize the magnitude of our responsibility to one another. By caring, we change lives everyday.
" ...because the only significant measure of your life is the positive effect you have on others, either by conscious acts of will or by unconscious example. Every smallest act of kindness- even just words of hope when they are needed, the remembrance of a birthday, the compliment that engenders a smile- has the potential to change the recipient's life."
I could not agree more.
I am fortunate enough to work somewhere where each person helps the next. You will never here "That's not MY patient!" Each person on the unit is everyone's responsibility, and we treat it as such. There is no time to decide whether or not to help, we just do it, and I would like to think that is due to our compassion, not just our instinct.
Being night shift, I had some free time to finish my most recent book "A Big Little Life; A Memoir of a Joyful Dog" written by Dean Koontz. On the last page of the book, in the last chapter, there is a statement that sent shivers down my spine. I find it to be true, and wanted to share it. Don't over analyze it, just think about it a few seconds, and realize the magnitude of our responsibility to one another. By caring, we change lives everyday.
" ...because the only significant measure of your life is the positive effect you have on others, either by conscious acts of will or by unconscious example. Every smallest act of kindness- even just words of hope when they are needed, the remembrance of a birthday, the compliment that engenders a smile- has the potential to change the recipient's life."
I could not agree more.
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